20 days to New Year.... 3 weeks from now and we would be celebrating the
end of 2015 and welcoming 2016. Typically, at time like today lots of us… human
being naturally think about what they have accomplished over the year. Needless
to say we all been through a lot for sure.....
The year started quite well for me. I still remember that the last day of
2014 , I was having my last lunch of the year, fresh from the lame joke of “see
u next year” I uploaded my 2015 goals on facebook. In my mind I was thinking
about if the goals made public, I would be pressured to complete the task
before end of the year.
I managed to complete some of my goals of the year quite successfully,
despite not all . In that perspective I would say I am satisfied however the
year turns out not as expected. I started the year quite well, getting a brand
new Seiko watch for myself and I bought the unknown Chinese brand smartphone
for me and wifey. I had quite a good and quite birthday celebration on 8th January…The next couple of months goes
smoothly. I work hard as ever, or perhaps even harder. I have never work as
hard as what I did in the past 3 years with current company.. I am really
committed and giving my all to the job. I may lack some quality in certain
areas but commitment, passion and loyalty has never been in doubt.
As days passed by, we come to Ramadhan. I am happy and look forward to it .
Little I know about what to come….. This was the hardest Ramadhan indeed. It
test me to the core of my belief. I was forced to work extremely hard, beyond
what I could ever imagine. It was painfully tiring and I could never imagine
that hard work could give such physical pain to my body. It was extreme and by
far the most challenging Ramadhan.I cried on the third day of Ramadhan, almost
unable to get through it. It is also the saddest Ramadhan as well. I lost both
my grand mother and grand father in the last 2 weeks of Ramadhan.
I get through ramadhan alive... I was glad...It is over. I had good Aidilfitri
with family and long leave. It was such a great relieve to me but what ever
happened in Ramadhan is really damaging mentally. For all the hard work give
nothing but bad result and disappointment. I was assured that the sacrifice
would bring result but instead it is heartbreaking. All that fancy number
crunched and projected is nothing but shattered dream. Yet again we are trapped
in this fantasy, wasting effort in the name of change.
But I am optimist for the next couple of months seems going to be great indeed.
Grand plan for recovery been presented and I adopt fully to the idea. Yet again
giving my 110% of commitment. However in my full gear, my effort was somewhat
distorted with sad news. My son was diagnosed with some serious kidney problem.
He was hospitalised for about 2 weeks, a very long 2 weeks for me. I was
scared, sad and losing hope. Alhamdulillah, 2 months later he is recovered but
the process was difficult for us the whole family.
I am not the kind who have saving, but the episode make me realize the
importance of it. Quickly I set up a new account to keep stash of cash away in
time of need. Little I know how important it would be come year end.
The next couple of months consist of hard work and string of what seem like
good result. I had my Master graduation and business seem to thrive, and
interest on the brand was high. I was optimist and that this could be it. We
would finally turns thing around........ Nope
A series of late payment, and partial salary disbursement was actually
early indicator to what would appear next. One fine evening my heart pound
wildly , and I feel something shitty coming near... and yes, I was summoned for
a meeting with the board of the director. The meeting seem like has no real
purpose as everyone trying to sugar coat the real situation till I asked firm
and important question. News broke immediately, we need to scale down
immediately. And it means, I need to fire some of my beloved team member and
maybe take some cut on my salary. Honestly I dont really mind the cut, but to
remove that many people....
We have had scaling down exercise year ago. We removed quite substantial
number of people before and I find it hard to do it again. As this time , it involved
people at the factory. The production team as well as those on operation. It
took me couple of days to decipher the whole thing. And I come to a decision...
At current difficult economic condition , deep down I know my people would
not be able, or find it hard to survive. And I know the company would not
survive either. We would not be able to keep production output with so many
people removed. No production = No sales = No money. This is a vicious cycle
sucking you hard into deep vortex. It is not solution but instead suicide for
everyone.
I make that decision, If I move out I might be able to save some jobs with
my salary. The company dont need a general manager at time like this. The board
could take over my role. They need physical workers. The labor. The way I see
it, it is good for my people and good for the company. My last sacrifice?
Anyhow with my newly acquired Master degree , I have good chance of securing
new job
However deep down my heart I know it is going to be fairly difficult.
Market is bad and employment is low. I might struggle to get a job but luckily
I have some saving to brave the period. ....
So yes, I been unemployed....jobless for the last one and half month. I work hard for a new job, and recently went
for interview for CEO post in one GLC. Yeap a bit long shot but I suppose
whilst I am at it, might as well I aim for big dream...
So yes, long posting for a new year rant.... just expressing myself out....
Coincidentally, Chelsea FC going through the same. They had good first half year
winning the EPL and League Cup but half year later they are down at lower mid
of the table, knocked out from league cup and JM on the threat of being sacked.
However last night they proceed to the next stage of Champions League and could
be turn of their fortune. Perhaps this is the time for all of us to focus only
on BIG dream.... perhaps
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